One day, a young man who went by the name of John Pickle was walking on the wing of an airplane. As the passengers on the inside of the plane watched anxiously as John teetered on the edge of the wing, a Phoenix suddenly swooped down and knocked John back. Confuzzled, John turned into a penguin and began to fight the Phoenix. The Phoenix, mad that John the Pickled Penguin was attacking him after saving his life, pecked John's leg, making him handicapped and therefore vulnerable. But alas! To the Phoenix's great surprise, John the Pickled Penguin was actually Wolverine, and the wound on his leg was instantly healed! Wolverine growled and made to swing at the fiery bird, but the Phoenix suddenly threw itself at Wolverine's face, then exploded into a huge fireball of doom, melting away Wolverine's skin on his face and showing off his adamantium skull. The ladies on board the airplane suddenly went gaga over the handsome, metal hero, and went out on the wing of the airplane and ran to him.Wolverine, never one to let the love of ladies get to his head, waved to the mob of women, then flipped backwards off the plane and into the sky. The foolish women were so infatuated with the Wolverine, that they also jumped off the airplane and began diving for him, and the Wolverine now had a choice to make. He could either save all these screaming fan girls and risk his life in the process, or he could save just himself and let the women fall to their doom. "What would Obama do?" he asked himself. Well, that was an easy one. After watching all the women fall to the ground with sickening thuds, Wolverine closed his eyes, frowned, and suddenly transported himself to his secret cabin in the woods.There, he sat down and read the hit classic "Little Women". Right as Wolverine was beginning to tear up at Beth's death, there was a knock on the door.It was Obama. "Wolverine, I'd like to offer you a job so great, that you'll be known as a hero throughout these 52 states!" Clearly Obama was deranged, so Wolverine slammed the door in the Presidents face. Just as Wolverine was fixing to sit back down, there was a terrible blast, and the whole of Wolverine's front wall was gone. Obama stood there with a combat suit on and a rocket launcher in hand...This was war. "Can't a guy ever get a break around here?" grumbled Wolverine as he slowly unsheathed his claws. "No, he cannot!" Obama screamed as he began shooting missiles at Wolverine. It was obvious that Wolverine was skilled in the art of parkour, as he performed a perfect launch over the missiles. Planting a foot on the flying missile, time slowed down as the Wolverine jumped from the missile with his claws extended, impaling them right into the heart of Obama, but the Wolverine found out a terrible secret as the President died. Obama was actually a woman. The Wolverine felt a terrible burden when he realized that he had killed a woman. In order to keep Obama's secret, Wolverine carried the corpse to the back of the cabin, where he had a plethora of hiding spots. He shoved the corpse into an Xbox 360 box and buried it. "Well, that takes care of that weirdo." Wolverine turned back into John Pickle, and continued to read "Little Women".
The End!
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Sunday, May 9, 2010
I did not write this
This is a project that my sister is working on. It's only the very first part thus the story continues! (She will only let me post this little bit online) annnnd she made me change the names. =p she wants feedback on it so I told her I'd post it here because I was due a new post anyway... please leave feedback for her and enjoy!
-----------------------------(Desolation of the Theians)--------
Fire and destruction raged in a small land called Thea with most of the men killed along with the life stock and crop, homes burned as the massacre continued finding its way to the male nobles though taking the women and children. After which they manually took up the king and queen slaying them along with their children thus vanquishing the royal blood of Thea. Torches and wooden rods were savagely thrown through the grand wooden framed windows of the castle. Two knights took a screaming sixteen year old boy from within the castle which they knew as the one of the nobles son named Navid.
"Mother!" As they drug a women from within the young man struggled beneath the mens brutal grip bruising his tanned arms. Women and children were gathered together by three knights riding horses on each side leading them in the direction toward their kingdom.
A high ranked knight approached the boy named Navid watching as he tried to battle off the knights. He managed to kick the one of the left in the shin in which they threw him to the ground and both knights began beating upon him ruthlessly. The high ranked knight stood for a moment then with a roar of his voice halted the assault. Navid lay on the ground helpless and moaning from the fierce pain, he began to cough as the knights grabbed each of his arms forcing him to his feet though he could hardly stand on his own dropping his head.
"Sir Ulric what shall we do, take the whelps life as we did the others?" Asked the man to the left of the boy. Navid lifted his head to look into the eyes of the man they call Sir Ulric, he saw the mans intense brown eyes looking directly into his pathetic stare. The lines on his face revealed his grim character, his mouth had a certain authority about him which seemed to persuade anyone who heard his strong voice to do his bidding.
"No, I wish for him to bare the pain of being the last of his filthy race, the last man of his kind." He bore a smug grin with the thought that seemed to amuse him.
"Sir, what is it that you wish for us to do?" Ulric glanced beneath his feet reaching down taking up a piece wood that was already half burned looking at the young boy.
"I have a small parting gift for our young Theian." He threw the board into one of the spreading fires drawing his sword putting it in the flame. Navid began to struggle hard within the grasp of his holders at the sight of the orange metal. The high ranked knight approached the unfortunate boys face with the glowing metal blade.
Meanwhile the knights led the Theians to the outskirts of their kingdom. A knight rode up to the group of people scanning around, the children clung to their mothers dress burrowing their sobbing faces into them. "Take the boys, we don't want them breeding!" The knights entered the crowed of women then began seizing the male children. "Take most of the old, they will die soon anyway! Keep the young ones, they may be of some use."
Screams and shouts of terror filled that field along with the blood of innocent Theians which Navid that day swore to avenge along with the blood of the royal family.
-----------------------------(Desolation of the Theians)--------
Fire and destruction raged in a small land called Thea with most of the men killed along with the life stock and crop, homes burned as the massacre continued finding its way to the male nobles though taking the women and children. After which they manually took up the king and queen slaying them along with their children thus vanquishing the royal blood of Thea. Torches and wooden rods were savagely thrown through the grand wooden framed windows of the castle. Two knights took a screaming sixteen year old boy from within the castle which they knew as the one of the nobles son named Navid.
"Mother!" As they drug a women from within the young man struggled beneath the mens brutal grip bruising his tanned arms. Women and children were gathered together by three knights riding horses on each side leading them in the direction toward their kingdom.
A high ranked knight approached the boy named Navid watching as he tried to battle off the knights. He managed to kick the one of the left in the shin in which they threw him to the ground and both knights began beating upon him ruthlessly. The high ranked knight stood for a moment then with a roar of his voice halted the assault. Navid lay on the ground helpless and moaning from the fierce pain, he began to cough as the knights grabbed each of his arms forcing him to his feet though he could hardly stand on his own dropping his head.
"Sir Ulric what shall we do, take the whelps life as we did the others?" Asked the man to the left of the boy. Navid lifted his head to look into the eyes of the man they call Sir Ulric, he saw the mans intense brown eyes looking directly into his pathetic stare. The lines on his face revealed his grim character, his mouth had a certain authority about him which seemed to persuade anyone who heard his strong voice to do his bidding.
"No, I wish for him to bare the pain of being the last of his filthy race, the last man of his kind." He bore a smug grin with the thought that seemed to amuse him.
"Sir, what is it that you wish for us to do?" Ulric glanced beneath his feet reaching down taking up a piece wood that was already half burned looking at the young boy.
"I have a small parting gift for our young Theian." He threw the board into one of the spreading fires drawing his sword putting it in the flame. Navid began to struggle hard within the grasp of his holders at the sight of the orange metal. The high ranked knight approached the unfortunate boys face with the glowing metal blade.
Meanwhile the knights led the Theians to the outskirts of their kingdom. A knight rode up to the group of people scanning around, the children clung to their mothers dress burrowing their sobbing faces into them. "Take the boys, we don't want them breeding!" The knights entered the crowed of women then began seizing the male children. "Take most of the old, they will die soon anyway! Keep the young ones, they may be of some use."
Screams and shouts of terror filled that field along with the blood of innocent Theians which Navid that day swore to avenge along with the blood of the royal family.
